Fighting Fate by JB Salsbury

Author:JB Salsbury
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2016-05-02T07:00:00+00:00

Twenty

Axelle

Drawing a figure-eight pattern in my Cocoa Puffs doesn’t make it taste any less like glue. My mom’s been trying to induce my appetite all morning, but it’s all been for nothing.

We both pretend it’s the pregnancy, but the sad smiles and sporadic hugs she’s been giving me make me think I’m not as good at covering up my true feelings as I’d like to think I am.

I didn’t go back to my place after Killian left yesterday. There’s no way I’m ready to face Mindy—admitting my stupidity to three people was enough for one day—and my mom insisted I shouldn’t be alone. I wanted to scream that she was wrong and people needed to stop telling me what to do, but I was too emotionally exhausted to fight. I slept most of the remainder of the day away, and considering how much I slept, I was surprised I was able to sleep well last night. It was almost as if my body forced my brain to abandon ship in order to protect it from going down alongside my heart.

The bad part of sleeping for thirteen straight hours through is waking up rested at five o’clock in the morning. The moment my eyes opened all systems were back online and replaying the last twenty-four hours in vivid detail. How quickly life can go from unlimited possibilities to being stripped of all possibilities. No matter how many times I replay yesterday’s events, I can’t bring myself to regret the decision I made.

I had to let him go.

Taking him up on what he was offering would’ve been the most selfish thing I could’ve done. And frankly, I’m sick and tired of being selfish.

I’m tired of the guilt, tired of feeling like shit all the time.

Because behind all this heartbreak and sadness there’s a flicker of good; for the first time in as long as I can remember, I’m actually proud of myself because I did the opposite of what felt good. I did what was right.

Even if it meant crushing my soul.

“You really need to eat something.” My mom slides a plate of fresh cut cantaloupe beside my uneaten bowl of cereal. “It’s not good for you or the baby.” She bites her lip and her eyes fill with tears.

I cover her hand with mine, my eyes filling right along with hers. “I’m sorry, Mom.”

She shakes her head and pulls herself together with a shaky smile. “Don’t be sorry. Some of our biggest mistakes end up being our greatest blessings.” She kisses my forehead and moves to the kitchen sink to wash dishes.

I suck a few pieces of fruit into my mouth, and the sweet juice bursts on my tongue. Finally, something I can eat. I make my way through a few more pieces when Blake comes in and drops into the seat next to me. “How’re you doing today?”

I shrug. “Good, I guess.”

He seems conflicted about something, but gets over it quickly. “What’s the plan?”

“Ha, like there’s a plan.”

My mom sips her coffee.

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